We met just two weeks before my 21st birthday - in person. Strangely, (at the time it was, anyway) we met online. On a site that doesn't even exist any longer. I have to believe it was fate that led me there, looking for more information on some since-forgotten news story for my mom, accidentally clicking a banner ad. Feeling lonely and thinking it would be nice to at least find people to chat with online. Filling out the questionnaire, realizing it would cost money to send anonymous emails to people, receiving emails from people old enough to be my father. No thanks!
Chad must have had that same feeling at some point before then, having since left the site. But Valentine's Day was approaching, so they sent him a free "stamp". He found I was his closest match, sent me an email (with his real email address so it didn't cost me to reply). We emailed for a while, then finally started calling each other. After a few weeks, maybe a month, we arranged to meet for lunch. Completely blind. Neither of us had seen a picture of the other.
We met and had an awkward lunch together. I talked way too much because I was nervous. He was wearing a sweater vest. So much about our getting to know each other was awkward. Yet we stuck it out. After dating for just over a year, I graduated from college and was heading to grad school. We took a leap and moved in together, a little apartment off campus. I took 12 credits per semester, worked as a graduate assistant (which covered my tuition and gave me a small stipend), and worked part-time. Chad worked as an estimator for a paving company and covered most of our bills. We were blissfully happy, as I recall, most of the time. This picture was taken in that apartment:
In one year, I finished my master's degree. I had interviews for Reading Specialist positions. We were searching for a home, planning our September wedding. I got my job, we bought our first home, and got married in the space of one month. A stressful time, despite all of the positive things that were happening.
We had our furry children. Life was good. I've written before, I believe, about my epiphany that I wanted to have children. It was a difficult time after this realization, waiting for Chad's answer as to whether he could want children, too. Even after he said he was okay with having kids, that he didn't want to lose me, I wasn't convinced. Throughout my pregnancy, I was still worried deep down about the father he would be. As I told him, "My own father wanted me and look how that turned out!" (Not good, in case you didn't know.) I didn't want to bring a child into the world, unwanted.
Little did I know that this man would become the type of father I could only dream of. He is beyond committed to our children, to our family. It simply had to be fate that brought him into my life, and I am so grateful I didn't let go. We both have more wrinkles. I have some gray hairs, and he has no hair! We've had lots of good times, but some bad as well.
The longer we are married, I realize that it is very similar to being on a roller coaster. There are many peaks, as well as some valleys, many times in between. If you simply hang in there for the rough times, remember why you fell in love, it will get better. Invest in each other, dig deep for the things you still love at times when they are hard to remember. Before you know it, you'll be headed up the hill, right on track for another peak in the future.
Looking back, there is nothing I would change in the 18 years we've been together. Sure, it could've been "prettier" or more romantic, but it's real. I adore the children we've created, appreciate the life we have forged together, and love, love, love that man I married.
