Autoimmunity and the root cause

Back in November, after seeing my PCP about my extreme fatigue and night sweats (suspecting it could be my thyroid, as I have has hypothyroidism since 2015), I had a great deal of blood work done.  A positive ANA test led me to visit a rheumatologist at the end of January, who suspected the positive result could, in fact, be linked to my thyroid issues.  She ran more tests and found that to be true.  While I have yet to get back for my follow-up appointment, all signs point to the fact that I must have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, which is autoimmune-based hypothyroidism.  This led me to read the book Hashimoto's thyroiditis: Lifestyle interventions for finding and treating the root cause by Izabella Wentz to try to find some answers.  I've been on Synthroid since 2015.  We seem to have my dosage correct, according to my TSH levels.  Yet I continue to feel tired and generally unwell.  This could even have something to do with my anxiety and depression - it's crazy how much is controlled by your thyroid, and how much an imbalance can effect you!

After reading this book (well, I'm about 2/3 of the way through at this point), I've come to the conclusion that I need to adopt a gluten-free diet.  Apparently, one of the root causes is a leaky gut, which can be perpetuated by gluten, even if tests do not indicate celiac disease.  This realization scares me because I love carbs and I am not a big meat fan.  I recognize that it is going to be a difficult transition that will make eating out very challenging.  I'm searching for recipes for cakes and icings because in all likelihood, I am going to need to make my own birthday cake for this reason.  I'm fast-forwarding to Easter and wondering what I am going to eat.  Yet if it will make me feel better, why wouldn't I do it?  And when thinking of the challenges that many other people face, this is truly not a big deal.

Another realization that I've come to is that it's likely that I will need to visit a functional medical provider to truly get to the root of my issues, which is not covered by insurance.  Being on sabbatical and less than half my salary, along with the expenses of being in graduate school, I don't have extra money to spend, even if it is on my health.  Especially when the first appointment alone (not including tests or medicines that are prescribed) is likely to be over $300!  Yikes!

So, perhaps I will begin with diet and see my rheumatologist again in a few weeks.  Maybe she will be willing to prescribe some of the tests recommended by Dr. Wentz in her book.  As I learn more, I will share more about my search for my own root cause and path to eventually (hopefully) helping to heal myself, or at the very least, feel a lot better.    

Weight Watchers Check-In

On a lighter note from the other day, I figured it was about time to check in regarding my Weight Watchers progress.  It's been slow going, as my commitment varies from week to week.  In the two months since I started (which included Christmas and New Year's), I've lost just over ten pounds.  I have 6 left to meet my goal before my birthday, but we will be away for a week of it, so I'm not overly optimistic that I'll get there.

However, I have to say that I'm pretty proud of my progress.  My clothes are fitting really well, and I'm feeling more comfortable with my body.  So, I suppose those are the important things, not the number on the scale.  For some reason, I didn't take my measurements until a month in, after I had lost over 5 pounds, so I'm not sure of the overall inches lost.  But since January 24, I'm down an inch in my waist, 1 1/4 in. in my hips, 1/2 in. in my thighs, and 1/2 inch in my arms.

As I said, my level of commitment varies.  Much of the time, I am extremely fatigued, so exercise is hard.  I get in a few days some weeks, and none on others.  One week, I lost easily because I didn't really feel like eating anything at all.  Other weeks, like this one when I want to be an emotional eater, I crave sweets and junk food.  At least I feel like I am finding a balance.  Even if I can only lose one more pound, yet maintain where I am, I can honestly say I'm OK with that.  

Unconditional Positive Regard

I haven't written in a while because I've been struggling.  A lot.  With myself.  With my life.  Emotionally.  I've been wondering why I can't be myself in many situations, can't speak freely, and thus remain quiet much of the time.  My anxiety is out of control.  Most of what I'm dealing with isn't fit to write, but I'm trying to work through it.  I recognize I can't change anything or anyone except myself.  I'm working on my self-talk.  Today, I happened upon this TED Talk that I really needed to hear.  If you have an extra 20 minutes, I would advise you to give it a watch.  While I can't control how other people see me and judge me, I can see myself in a better light.  So can you.  Perhaps if we can practice unconditional positive regard for ourselves, we can start to see others in a better light as well.

Unconditional Positive Regard - Michelle Charfen