My Person

Today, as I think about my very best friend in the whole world, I keep going back to when I used to watch Grey's Anatomy.  Two quotes are stuck in my head:

"You're my person, you will always be my person."  - Cristina Yang

"We're friends, real friends.  And that means no matter how long it takes, when you finally do decide to look back, I'll still be here."  - Meredith Grey

She is on my mind today more than any day because her father unexpectedly passed away in his sleep last night.  He was one of the kindest and most wonderful people I have ever met.  And I feel helpless.  All I can do is think about her and worry for her, but there is nothing I can actually do to make things better.  Except be here to listen, which doesn't seem like enough.

I don't have a lot of close friends.  Because I've lost so many over the years, I believe I have stopped trying to make new friends.  I don't put myself out there and I know I don't make it easy to get to know me.  

She is one of the very few people who actually see me (and appreciate me) for who I am.  She is my person, the first one I turn to when I need to talk or celebrate.  She gives it to me straight, whether I want to hear it or not.  I value and appreciate her presence in my life more than I can say.  Spending time with her is healing, talking to her is my therapy.

I'm not always good at expressing myself, particularly when showing affection.  I'm awkward.  It doesn't come naturally.  But today, my heart is aching because her heart must be aching.  My dear friend, who I love like a sister.  While I wish there was something I could do to help, to make her feel better, I know there isn't.  I will continue to be here for her if she needs me, feeling intensely grateful to have her in my life.