Mother’s Day
It is on this day that I am reminded of all that is important in my life. Family. My children. I am so grateful to be a mom, that I have been blessed with these two little boys, to guide them and raise them to be kind and independent young men. Prior to being a mother, I didn’t know it was possible to love someone else so much. Sure, I love my husband, but it isn’t a transformative love like a mother’s love. And until you are a mother, you never know this type of love.
While I have written about my love for my children in a prior post, I have not yet written about my own mother (other than almost losing her in an accident). Yet she has been the single most important person in my life. The one constant. Because of this, she was also the one who took on the brunt of my anger and frustration, regardless of who provoked these feelings. Still she stayed. Still she loved me.
She taught me to be strong and independent. (She’s probably one of the strongest people I know, yet she doesn’t even recognize it.) She wanted me to be able to take care of myself so that I didn’t HAVE to rely on anyone else. Because of her, going to college and getting an education was never an option – it was just what I was going to do. No question.
From my mom, I learned that it’s far more important to be a parent, to set boundaries, than it is to be your child’s friend. I learned to be responsible and reliable because that’s what was modeled for me. I am open and honest with my children because that’s how my mom was with me. She has almost single-handedly shaped me into who I am today because she raised me by herself.
Sure, my dad was there early-on. Until the divorce when I was five or six. For a few years after that, for visits. Child support until the day I turned 18. In and out of my life until I got married: when he didn’t want to even pay for the people in his family to be at the wedding, so he decided not to come, which officially severed our relationship for good. My mother remained, through it all, filling the place of both mother and father.
Though she couldn’t afford for us to go on vacations, if I was invited to go with a friend’s family, she made sure to find enough so that I was able to go. So that I could have experiences that she couldn’t provide for me. She demonstrated the importance of education, working hard to go to night school, to better her life and therefore, mine. She was the family provider.
On this day, I am not only grateful to be a mother, but to have such a wonderful mother. I’m lucky enough to not have to do it alone, to have a supportive and amazing husband by my side. However, because I was raised by a woman with such strength – of mind and character – I know I would be capable. I had such a great role model. Mom, I love you. On this day and always. Happy Mother’s Day from your one and only. For better or for worse.
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